


to feed or to bleed your sorrows

by asexuelf



Series: at the end of yesterday [3]
Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: Bonding, Child Abuse, Dialogue-Only, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loss of Parent(s), Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26245069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asexuelf/pseuds/asexuelf
Summary: Larry and Travis talk about the loss of their parents.
Relationships: Larry Johnson & Travis Phelps, Sal Fisher/Travis Phelps
Series: at the end of yesterday [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1906528
Kudos: 22





	to feed or to bleed your sorrows

**Author's Note:**

> was feeling a little experimental. takes place after vast and summer showers, but you don't need to read either of them to understand this one. this fic is all dialogue, because i was feeling a little experimental, hehe
> 
> warnings for suicide, dead bodies, loss of parents, christian-specific religious abuse, depression, suicidal ideation, ptsd, annnnnd... i think that's it? most of it's second-hand, taking place in the past.
> 
> i hope you enjoy!

“Sometimes, Father brings up suicide in church.”

“What the fuck?”

“Yeah, heh. That’s how I feel, every time… He says ‘To take one’s own life is a sin’, and the room goes quiet. Like everybody’s thinking of her.”

“Jesus Christ. Uh, literally, I guess, in this case.”

“Heh… Yeah. There’s this- this big Jesus statue, in the building. It just, like, looks down at you from behind my father as he preaches.”

“Freaky.”

“For sure. Especially in moments like that. He casts damnation on the suffering, on his own wife, with his son in the room… And everybody just looks at him. Jesus, too. Everyone stares.”

“What is it… like? Not the creepy Jesus statue. I mean, going to church with people who knew your mom. Sorry if that’s too personal-”

“It’s fine.”

“I mean it, I don’t want to pry-”

“Larry-”

“You can totally ignore me.”

“Haha, dude, for real. It’s fine. Um. Honestly, it’s a little weird, because… Okay, how do I put this? My mom wasn’t, like, a great person? Shit, guess I’m speaking ill of the dead.”

“Who gives a shit? Can’t hurt her feelings. Might as well say what’s honest.”

“...You actually have a point, Johnson. In that case, my mom and my dad deserved each other. Two miserable, violent,  _ controlling _ people. And people who knew her know that too. They just also know it’s fucked up that she killed herself.”

“Wow… I- wonder sometimes. Sorry, I don’t mean to make it all about me.”

“Please, God, make it about you. If I have to bare my heart any longer, I’ll just tear it out and eat it.”

“Hah! Okay, man, I hear that… Shit, how to even say it…”

“Right? Hard shit to talk about. That’s why therapy only works for whackjobs.”

“Oh, shut up, Phelps.”

“Hahahahah!”

“Hahah, I mean it! Heh heh… Maybe we’re the real whackjobs and that’s why talking is so hard.”

“...You think so?”

“Yeah, man. Trauma fucks you up for real. Like, real like a house fire real. Can’t get that shit back, and you can’t build it back the way it was.

“Damn, Larry.”

“Heh, sorry. Anyways. Sometimes - going back to suicide - sometimes I wonder if my dad…”

“They never found a body though, right? Maybe he’s still alive somewhere.”

“Is that better or worse? Shit, sorry-”

“Don’t. You can have fucked up feelings. It’s fucked up.”

“But-”

“It’s all fucked up, Larry! You can be too!”

“Yeah, but wondering if my dad is out with a new wife and kids will never be as fucked as…”

“...As finding the body?”

“...Yeah.”

“Yeah… That was pretty awful. I won’t try to downplay that. I wonder sometimes how long she was in there, dying, while I played in the other room.”

“Fuck.”

“Heh. Hahh… Yeah. You fuckin’ said it. Really, though, all that ‘who has it worse?’ crap sucks. Like… My parents never loved me. It’s probably way worse to lose a loving parent than a shitty one.”

“Okay, maybe. That was your mom, though. You were a kid…”

“Sometimes I think I stopped being a kid after that… Or, like, that I’ll always be that kid now. Sal had a really bad trauma episode attack thing the other day and I’ve been fucked up about leaving him alone every hour since.”

“Damn. Yeah, I hear that.”

“I don’t think Sal would do that, though. He’s… got this sort of outlook. Like, ‘kill yourself by becoming a new person’ style, but he doesn’t change for other people. Well, mostly.”

“Yeah. Sal’s stubborn, but he’s also easy to blow over if he likes you. He just wants to be nice.”

“Yeah… My angel.”

“Heh. You two have such cute pet names. I get it, though. He’s kind of my angel too, you know?”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yep. I’ve- Well, I guess I’ve just always felt- I don’t know. Lonely? But Sal showed up and the world felt…”

“Smaller? Brighter?”

“Yeah. I didn’t wanna be invisible anymore. Nothing against Ash, she was my rock, still is, but…”

“...Larry?”

“I don’t wanna freak you out. I talk to Sal and my mom and Ash, so don’t worry, okay?”

“Larry… Are you alright?”

“Sometimes. When I paint. When I’m chilling with friends, like this. I scare myself when I’m alone.”

“I hear you… Do you take medicine or anything?”

“ _ Bleck _ . I should, probably. Expensive, though.”

“Damn, yeah. I have no idea how Henry pays for Sal’s meds.”

“Right? There’s so many… Can’t be cheap. Keeps him with us, though.”

“Worth the price and then some, in that case. Should still be free, but-”

“Heh. Agreed.”

“Uh… Okay, I’m about to get corny.”

“You have full rights to. I’m all ears.”

“If you- Oh, fuck off.”

“Hahaha!”

“I was going to say you can always call me, but I take it back!”

“Hahahahahaaah!”

“You suck. I’ll bury you next to my mom.”

“Hahaha, holy shit! That’s fucked, Travis. Heheh.”

“Heh, yeah, I know. Easier to laugh, though. I don’t want to lose you, not for real. I’d miss your dumb face.”

“Aw, Phelps… My dumb face would miss you too.”

“If it was dead?”

“Hehe, don’t be an ass, Trav. You know what I meant.”

“Yeah, I do… Thanks, Larry. I’m here when you need me, okay?”

“Same here. If you ever want to talk about your mom or your dad or, like, the gay thing-”

“You mean how I’m homophobic?”

“Haha! No, man, you aren’t anymore. But, like, yeah, that. Like, if you want to vent or something, or you start thinking too much, just know that I’m here for you.”

“...Thanks, Larry. I’m here for you too.”

“I’m here for you three.”

“What, am I supposed to keep counting- Wait! I’m here  _ four _ you. Hah!”

“Ugh. Horrible.”

“Hehehe….”

“Anyways… That’s enough feelings for now. Wayyy to deep.”

“Music?”

“Yeah, man. You are gonna  _ love _ the new Oden’s Blood album.”

“Prove it. Start it up. Rev your stereo.”

“Don’t try to sound music smart. Just sit back and enjoy the songs.”

“Yeah, good call.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!


End file.
